When those that are bound to nurture fail to provide to the correct care, failure is usually the end result.
When you remove from a young person the one thing that they trust, their life’s blood, the only thing that they can trust, the thing they depend on, it is certain to end in a cluster fuck… or worse.
In this, the case of Care F, attaining success is an on-going path of learning to trust again, self-recognition and sometimes self-doubt. The seemingly childlike persona is mixed with a grown up knowledge far beyond her years. The lessening use of Failure as a last name is only a sign that there is an embryo of self-belief that is not sorrow and despair, but that good things are on the horizon. “When you hear something so often you start to believe it, right?” Care shares one of the reasons that she is distancing herself from any kind of failure.
Using her song writing skills as a form of self-therapy; “you have to write about what you know, right? That is what they tell you,” Care tells it straight and as it is, but there is a feeling when she converses that she wants you to give her your approval. That she is testing the water toe, by toe. A look in her eye that is asking,”I think I am right, but can you just give me the nod?”
If you are aware of the tumultuous past of this well-spoken, thoughtful, intelligent and accommodating young woman, then you would have good reason to understand this.
With a past including, at a young age, the near suicide of a young friend, musical seclusion, homelessness and heroin addiction, it is a huge fucking surprise that Care F is even still breathing. She is; between smokes! OK so she may be back living in her parents’ basement, but even that is a massive leap forward from injecting drugs with needles and a life on the street. It was certainly not a lack of hard work that resulted in moving back in with Mom. It would seem that recent manager was possibly tipping himself a little too much, a little too often and as a result drastic measures have ensued!
Of course you have to ask, does she ever think that if the music had not been used as the blame for the near death of her childhood friend and she had been allowed to continue listening to her own choices, that she would have experienced a different path on her way to huge success? The success of this woman is inevitable. Care F just was meant to be a star. “But I continued to listen to the music, even when I was not supposed to, I led a double life.” She shares, so it is possible that the path would have been the same! “Some things just happen anyway,” Care F appears quite complacent about this, but you can see in her eyes that she is possibly still asking herself, why did that happen, why would they take the one thing that I really needed? The downward glances and small sighs are a dead giveaway.
If you start to see any similarity to Courtney Love in this at all then prepare to stand corrected. Care F does not sound like, look like or act like the Hole front fuck up, nor does she have dreams of hooking up with a rich and more successful rock star in order that she further her own career. In fact, she and partner, band bassist Tony Bleed are and have been happy together for many years. She is her own woman and completely the opposite of the Love we all see in the music magazines and on music led tv. Care F is unselfish, willing to listen and compassionate.
It was written that while Avril Lavigne was being set up by music executives as an anti-Britney, Care was set up by former record company Warner music as the anti-Avril. “Hmmm, that’s interesting” exclaims Care when this is revealed. “I always wondered why she wouldn’t speak to me. You know, she tried to keep me away from her (now ex) husband Deryck, when we toured with Sum 41. They were a little weird!”
Guitarist Stacy intervenes to make a valid point. “Why would you just make a comparison with a woman? Care, if you were making a comparison to her, which is not really necessary, could be compared to anyone, that person need not be a female!”
What an excellent observation. “You know,” Care is quick to jump back in “if I was to be compared to anyone it would be Iggy Pop, you know when he was doing his thing, back in the day, with the Stooges. I really admire him.”
There has been career help along the way for Care F from the likes of Canadian superstars Rush and beyond fellow musicians, it would seem that people everywhere feel the need to nurture her. But of her talent as a singer/songwriter/musician at least, Care F has little need for nurture and has little or no doubt and nor should she. What she would argue is the title of rock/movie star and any hope of making it bigger.
With the release of a movie this month(May 2012) Hard Core Logo 2, where Die Mannequin star as themselves, Care F is a little disturbed by the “herself” she was asked to portray by Director Bruce McDonald, in this sequel to his cult movie Hard Core Logo. “We are playing ourselves and yet my character Care Failure is always so dark, gloomy, and you know hmmmm, depressive. In real life that is not me. OK, so there is an element of the real me, when I think about what has happened in my life where I have been sad and unhappy, on some days I’m still less happy, but that is not my real persona, the one portrayed in the movie.”
Care allows herself to take joy in the small things. She expresses a love for color and art “I love yellow and orange, but this blue is my new favorite color,” she offers a small pot of nail polish. During an impromptu photo session she requested pictures affront a huge sign with Asian style font. “I love the way it looks,” she enthuses. In interaction with fans Care is seen to give herself totally to each person that approaches. That takes dedication and it shows a true appreciation, but could it also be seen as a need for constant approval, another sign of her vulnerability, a need to do the right thing?
For one so young to have suffered sadness, cruelty and more recently theft, Care F’s resolve has been tested to the limit but has held well, her integrity is intact and as she continues to learn that often people think they are doing the right thing even when they are wrong. Sometimes they can be forgiven. Positivity and self-belief can take you further than you think and if at any point you are overwhelmed, take a break. Stand back and re-assess. That is often all it takes.
The new cd release Danceland, brought to you by EOne music, Canada, despite its ripping and raw guitar and hard sound also exposes the vulnerability of Care F through the expressision in her voice. Be sure however that you will give her your approval right after listening to the first track The Other Tiffany.
Your approval for Care F and the band, her band, Die Mannequin, will continue until the end of the cd at which point you will replay, hear something totally new and different and approve all over again!
This cd has nothing but music with feeling. Vocal that makes you hear truth.
This is music for life. This is music you need.
Care F. Approved!
By Karen Graham 24 May 2012